Kyley,
I really liked this piece. I like how the first two lines play off each other with circularly and repeat itself. One thing about this piece is it felt like the narrative voice kept to one subject and didn't wander enough. I was thinking it would be interesting if you trailed off after the fourth line and returned to the fifth because it looked like those two lines could transition in and out of each other. But this definitely has some cool language. I also liked the practice of reusing words in this piece. The repetitions played quite nicely. Keep them coming :) lol
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